CONGRATULATIONS!!

 

And THANK YOU for choosing to buy Cycle Fitness bicycles! We may have had some trouble with the law in the past, but it's called "the past" for a reason: it's past us!

 

We cater specifically to those less fortunate than the traditional biker people: the poor, the disabled, and the people with low self-esteem who fully believe in our slogan: "You're nothing without a bike!!"

 

We have seminars specifically designed for the kids as well as for people with too much time on their hands who like to brag to their enemies that they attend seminars! (Don't worry, we won't tell anyone that it was just a bike seminar...unless of course you do something that we don't like...) We also offer trips to exotic and beautiful places so that the whole family can join in the fun of cheating death again and again!

 

So why wait? Go forth and buy a Cycle Fitness bike right now!

 

And if you don't, we know where you live.

 

 

BE A MAN.

OR BE A WOMAN.

WE DON'T JUDGE.